A street-wise, over-generalized look at the two genders and the millions of differences
We are all connected, we are all equal, we are all made from one source.
That being said, men are stupid and women are crazy.
Women getting ready to go out must prepare in reverse order of what men think is important or else the man will get impatient and leave before she’s fully ready. For instance, if a woman wants to both curl her eyelashes and put on shoes, she should first curl her eyelashes. Men understand that you have to wear shoes so they will wait while you put on shoes but men will not wait for you to curl your eyelashes.
Men vs Women on the subject of tattoos:
Women always ask what did you get?
Men always ask where did you get it?
Men are almost oblivious to their surroundings. You cannot page a man without warning him 24 hours in advance. A man won’t even respond to his own name being called over a public address system.
Women are their own worst enemies. A woman will complain that she has too many tasks at work and that the company should hire another employee to share the workload. But if a new employee takes over some of those complained about tasks, the woman will fear that she’s being replaced.
Henny Youngman joked about a wife who gave her husband two ties for his birthday. The next morning, he was wearing one, and she asked, “What, you don’t like the other one?
A man might try to pay a woman a compliment by saying, “You look very pretty today.”
The crazy woman will respond, “You mean I didn’t look pretty yesterday?”
Men will take credit for good things that have happened around them, regardless of whether they have actually caused them. Women will take the blame for bad things that have happened around them, regardless of whether they have actually caused them.
For Men – How to Handle Women Folk
Women like to feel that they are special. Just tell them that they are, even if you say something corny, they’ll appreciate it.
Men always feel the need to drag race each other. Women do not care who wins a drag race. A woman would prefer that you not even be tempted to race. A woman would be more impressed if you didn’t feel the need to drag race every man at every stoplight than if you had won every race.
Don’t ever tell a woman that you have class, because saying so only proves that you don’t. You can only prove it by your actions.
Don’t brag that you are intelligent, have integrity, and don’t ever say that you are not like all those other guys because you are. Don’t claim that you are not “your average guy”, because men are all alike. Also don’t tell a woman to trust you – it sounds too suspicious.
For Women – How to Handle those He-Man Behemoths
Woman take longer to get ready than men. It’s not right, but it’s natural and true. Women have more to do, more to choose, and more to consider. However, men are simple minded and cannot even comprehend all the variables or appreciate the time-consuming factors. So, when getting ready for an outing of any type, first attend to the frivolous tasks, like curling your eyelashes or changing out your handbag. Do things in reverse order of practicality. Men will understand that they have to wait while you handle practical tasks, like putting on your shoes, but no man will wait while you curl your eyelashes.
Men like to feel smart, strong, and useful. Men like to talk about themselves. If you need more time to get ready, just ask them what great ideas they have for improving the world.
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