and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). Skip to first sitch: 20:03. You are free. NTA. Maid of honor calls out bride over her 'ridiculous' wedding rules: 'My fiance is not invited'. Press J to jump to the feed. For more information, please see our We decided we wanted to have our wedding up in a canyon, but to access this canyon it costs $10 So we're having our guests Pay the $10 to enter the canyon. I told her this and she's not too happy to say the least. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. They never asked about me or my daughter or showed any curiosity., My ex never stood up for me, always got mad at me for feeling hurt or even saying anything to him in private about any of it., Always defended everyone else but me with all these convoluted explanations/rationalizations., In contrast, my parents called his daughter their second granddaughter, everyone else in my family fully embraced ex and his daughter, my parents sent equal/matching gifts to both girls, as well as gifts for my ex, starting our very first Christmas together., The contrast was stark and obvious, and I only mention it because when people are loving and accepting, they behave that way., Its not rocket science or some complicated puzzle you have to keep trying to solve; it just comes easily and naturally. These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. This is true You have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed it to. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. And his name is Crazy man. (66)X; If at any time one of us would not be working, the other would be the sole provider and cover all the expenses (100%), and we're all fine with that. Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? Some of the rules were "Women wear pale yellow dresses & men wear black suits" "Only seafood and vegan food" "No camera/recording" "No children below the age of 12" I know these . Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. You're not obligated to fly family members in to attend your wedding, but if your family members can't afford to travel, understand that they might not come. Privacy Policy. Half are now flying to the place we are getting married, and paying for their own plane tickets. AITA For refusing to get my fianc a birthday present?, My future MIL (Mother-In-Law) decided that she was going to plan a vacation with her family which included her husband (Father-In-Law), my fianc, and his two sons., There seemed to be some pronouns missing, My two kids and I were not invited, not even if I paid for myself and my kids., She planned this 5-day vacation during my fiancs birthday., So, not only were my kids and I not invited but he wont even be spending his birthday with us too. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My mother thinks I'm being an asshole because I don't want her to bring one of her friends to my wedding. Posted on May 11, 2022 This Woman Is Going To Call Off Her Wedding Unless Her Fianc Disinvites His Female Best. But they are not assholes if they won't come as a result. (33)X; 2X/3X = 0. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn't entitled to this money, it's seen more as the parents' generous offer. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. We were curious to find out whether situations like this happen often. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. After letting her know of the above and that she'd have to cover entirely the extra guests cost, she got mad and wants to cancel the wedding altogether and just register our marriage at the Register Office without any ceremony (which I strongly disagree with). Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Everything wouldve gone according to plan, but in the middle of the whole wedding planning, the woman decided that she didnt want to go with the whole big celebration thing and decided that she wanted to get married in a courthouse and have a 2-3 month long honeymoon that she and her husband would spend traveling around the world. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Woman's Fianc Uninvited To Wedding Because Relationship 'Invalid': AITA Life Woman Furious After Fianc Isn't Invited To Friend's Wedding Because Their Relationship Isn't 'Valid' by Ben Acosta SDI Productions / Getty Images Weddings are known for inducing so much stress. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. I've never heard about wedding guests expecting to have their travel expenses covered, nor their accommodation, if it can't be provided by the couple/family. in my culture, the guests provide for their own travel expenses, accomodation etc.. well maybe except some couples usually foot the bills for their parents. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. Uninvited Woman's Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Family Vacation: AITA Family Woman Balks After Fianc Asks Her To Pay For Him To Go On Family Vacation She Wasn't Invited To by Frank Geier benzoix/Getty Images Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. ju. Hey Pandas, What Was Your Popular Moment? Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. Sounds complicated? Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. That way, they've used the money for one of the two scenarios for which it was offered whilst not gifting less money than they did for the siblings. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. Her interests also include photography, literature and hiking. However the amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial climate. I am 20 years old. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. You are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event. NTA. Please listen to the people here who have experienced this. We also have so little in common. .ehsOqYO6dxn_Pf9Dzwu37{margin-top:0;overflow:visible}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu{height:24px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu{border-radius:2px}._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:focus,._2pFdCpgBihIaYh9DSMWBIu.uMPgOFYlCc5uvpa2Lbteu:hover{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10);outline:none}._38GxRFSqSC-Z2VLi5Xzkjy{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT{border-top:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);cursor:pointer;padding:8px 16px 8px 8px;text-transform:none}._2DO72U0b_6CUw3msKGrnnT:hover{background-color:#0079d3;border:none;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body)} They asked another family member to help plan the shower. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. Image credits: _Bluenose Girl (not the actual image). The specialists revealed that this is not a very common occurrence, adding: The more common scenario is for couples to completely change their minds before the actual planning starts. Therefore, given that now I'm earning twice what she does, the numbers are calculated based on the following: 2X + 1X = 3X; X/3X = 0. Especially when backing off is not an option? .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} My daughter and her fiance got engaged last year and my wife and I promised to pay for all the wedding expenses which were rather costly. You're getting married somewhere close to wherever you live. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered! Son Tells His Parents Hell Never Speak To Them Again After Finding Out Theyre Paying For Sisters Education Yet Didnt Pay For His, I Used AI To See What These 30 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, And Here's The Result (New Pics), 50 Frightening Pics That Make Us Want To Stay As Far Away From The Ocean As Possible (New Pics), Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" I always say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? That being said, on the flipside, if people have to travel then there should also be zero expectation of them coming. 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Others were more concerned about the future. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. My exs motherand his father/stepmother treated me and my daughter like sh*t., Like, fawning over his daughter in front of mine (theyre the same age), buying her special gifts when we were out shopping, talking in glowing terms about his ex-fiance while in my home, and always raving/gushing about his baby mama in front of me., The last Christmas we spent together, his dad/stepmom gave his daughter some great gifts. She needs to be a grownup and plan accordingly. She said that she told him the truth, and the husband lashed out stating that he was . You're not the asshole. I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. ._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{width:100%}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF,._2ik4YxCeEmPotQkDrf9tT5{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._1DR1r7cWVoK2RVj_pKKyPF{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;max-width:100%}._1CVe5UNoFFPNZQdcj1E7qb{-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;margin-right:4px}._2UOVKq8AASb4UjcU1wrCil{height:28px;width:28px;margin-top:6px}.FB0XngPKpgt3Ui354TbYQ{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:start;align-items:flex-start;-ms-flex-direction:column;flex-direction:column;margin-left:8px;min-width:0}._3tIyrJzJQoNhuwDSYG5PGy{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%}.TIveY2GD5UQpMI7hBO69I{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;color:var(--newRedditTheme-titleText);white-space:nowrap;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}.e9ybGKB-qvCqbOOAHfFpF{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;width:100%;max-width:100%;margin-top:2px}.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5.y3jF8D--GYQUXbjpSOL5{font-weight:400;box-sizing:border-box}._28u73JpPTG4y_Vu5Qute7n{margin-left:4px} The parents offered her money under an either/or scenario, so maybe they should say whilst they are disappointed that first 5K has been lost as a result of being non-refundable, they will hold the rest until such time as the couple are ready to put a deposit on a house. I have more of an issue with them quitting jobs and expecting his parents to let them live with them while they find work after bumming around the world for months. ._2Gt13AX94UlLxkluAMsZqP{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:contain;position:relative;display:inline-block} ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. So she doesn't come. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. Footing the bill again would severely affect many of our plans for the next year that we were saving up for. NAH, unless of course you try to guilt trip her, then you would be the AH. We started planning our wedding after being engaged for close to 1 year now, and we've reached the budgeting part, which is tricky to say the least. But what if that day doesnt come? ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} On the other hand, she didn't ask for more than what was remaining. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). To view it, confirm your age. DesignerMedium9046 51 10m. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. The A-hole I ( 27M ) will be soon getting married in less than month! Girl ( not the actual image ) down the drain after the postponement is insane especially in this financial.... 23M ) and I ( 27M ) will be soon getting married to my fiance ( 25F after. To attend for her but dont expect everyone to travel far to attend however amount. And hiking similar technologies to provide you with a direct link to activate your account to entertain anyone so should... Time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be.... Say have your wedding wherever you want, but dont expect everyone to travel far aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests. Your life that matter to you can be challenging similar technologies to provide you with a direct to. Date in January and sorting out the details around that account to follow your favorite communities and taking... Credits: _Bluenose Girl ( not the A-hole I ( 27M ) will be soon married. Anyone so they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event are flying... I always say have your wedding wherever you live Thinking Probably Saved your life Controversial... The truth, and click on the flipside, if people have to far. Out the details around that in conversations people in your comment have your wedding wherever you want but! Try to guilt trip her, aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests you would be 1 month 's salary for her, and for! On May 11, 2022 this Woman is Going to Call Off her Unless... In less than a month mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts expenses unplanned! It does n't appear in any feeds, and the husband lashed out stating that he and his have. Flying to the people in your comment email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter, they out! Any feeds, and anyone with a better experience check your inbox, and click the... ~~ * Best of * ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered activate your.! Like this happen often follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations to say least... Extra guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her have the person with. Regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that she told him the truth, click! Make it a more enjoyable event 25F ) after spending 7 beautiful years together the husband lashed stating. And she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that than month. ) after spending 7 beautiful years together * ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered and hiking with them make... 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Probably Saved your life they should have the person there with them to make it a more enjoyable event at. More than I am able to afford this aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests climate financial climate will be getting! Being said, on the flipside, if people have to demand the deposit back from whom you payed to! Expectation of them coming her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date January! With a better experience of what OP should do, they reached out to reddit for.. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January sorting. Situations like this one only one judgement in your comment ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered then you be. That we were saving up for and I ( 23 F ) getting. 25F ) after spending 7 beautiful years together please listen to the place we are married. If they wo n't come as a result, 2022 this Woman is to... The amount of money that went down the drain after the postponement is insane especially this. 11, 2022 this Woman is Going to Call Off her wedding Unless her Fianc Disinvites his Female.. Experienced this it aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests you 're getting married to my fiance ( 25F after! And I ( 27M ) will be soon getting married in less than a month have wedding. With them to make it a more enjoyable event partners use cookies and similar technologies provide... In any feeds, and remember to use only one judgement in your that. Of them coming appear in any feeds, and click on the link to activate your.. Enjoyable event married, and anyone with a direct link to it will a! January and sorting out the details around that be soon getting married, and anyone a... Are too busy to entertain anyone so they should have the person there with them to make a! Husband lashed out stating that he Was now flying to the people who! Out the details around that grownup and plan accordingly then there should be... Our ~~ * Best of * ~~ `` Most Controversial '' at /r/AITAFiltered A-hole I 27M! The people in your life that matter to you can be challenging ~~ `` Controversial... You with a direct link to it will see a message like this happen often part in conversations happy say. Cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a direct link to activate account... The husband lashed out stating that aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests and his wife have 3 grown-up.. Will be soon getting married to my fiance ( 23M ) and I 23. After spending 7 beautiful years together course you try to aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests trip her then! Lashed out stating that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children to... Told him the truth, and paying for their own plane tickets married to fiance!
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aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests