The guys almost definitely do not give a fuck. My 2 cents is not worth much, but why did she not feel the need to tell you when she realized she let it slip from the drunken night? There were 3 friends with her. Maybe suggest that. That sucks that your wife has such closed minded friends. Wife: " (my name) I dunno what your heard but it's not what" Me: " (wifes name) I know exactly what I heard." I turned around and stormed off to our room. If youre ever going to get past this, you should both be in therapy. After some investigation the the psychologist and clinic consensus was that my mind was f***ed up. Wife talks shit to friends to be funny/gossip/have fun, and does not honor the trust that was placed in her. Especially because the reason behind the "close call" was because OP is bi. I'm a bisexual woman, and if my husband told his friends that he thinks of other women when we do more than vanilla sex, I'd tell him to go find less. She NEVER told me this. She violated a boundary. Most importantly, YOU DID NOT GIVE CONSENT to the things she is talking about!! Let her know how betrayed you feel. Honestly the only advice I have is to don't give an inch on the fact that you were the one outted and ridiculed, not her. If a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. Your wife hates that you're bi. Ban the girls from the house. She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. Embarrassed..then it turned to rage. I'm sorry. I used to drink to black out, and not one time did I let slip the secrets I held for my friends and family. Fourthly, buy that man a beer. And also, alcohol intake needs to be curtailed. Mahatma Gandhi My wife and I always have a number one rule at the foundation of our relationship: never say a bad word about each other to anyone else. It was over something dumb, but she's fucking nuts and didn't want me to date anybody. So she outed you, and joked with friends about fantasizing about other men during sex because of your sexuality? She failed at the number one attribute an SO needs to be, your SO's most ardent defender. Id rather show my support. Do you believe what she told you? This crap has been swimming around for TWO FUCKING YEARS. Another violation of your trust. How I interpret you feel: she betrayed your trust, she shared your private life, and then made fun of it. Their partners undoubtedly know about you. No one cares. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. Women talk shit to each other just as much as men do. Beer runs out so I head inside to grab more. Im so sorry, my jaw hit the floor reading this. Uh huh. Im so lost. Its amazing where friendship comes from in the darkest of times. The sheer betrayal of trust is breathtakingly awful. Do good anyway. Be honest anyway. My bf and I have been together not long 3 years but hes 33, I 27, and whenever there is even a shred of something that bugs either one of us we tell each other. She's lying to you to save face. I know that your * secret life * is very personal to you, but not many people will be concerned or even bothered about your sexuality. Then lots of hard conversations and a come to Jesus with your wife. Youre not overreacting. All you heard was a snippet of the conversation that you could loud and clear despite being in another room. Nope, don't buy it. Get used to me being stupid". One of the guys who was there called me and I answered. Part of thinks I should be able to accept her apology and shrug this off.maybe I overacting.but its all I can think about. Maybe. She forced him out, and its time for her to join him. I think you did the right thing in the moment but I would want her to confront her friends if what she said was true and come clean herself to them, Shes bullshitting about not meaning any of it. They were talking about ex-boyfriends and how another mutual friend of them cheated on her husband with an ex-boyfriend because he was better in bed. I started putting a voice recorder in my wife's car after u caught her cheating. This is NOT on her timeline anymore. Best of luck. Based on the way she acts in private i would think you are right in your opinion. Author Hazel McBride claimed that she's so "average-looking" that she feels uneasy around her more handsome husband in a now-viral TikTok. Truly when you come to the realisation your partner has such a low view , I sympathise a lot with you dude. When we had problems of a sexual nature it made me feel worse that her friends who would constantly gossip amongst each other knew. Think about you right now, and what you want. It's terrible. Dude she sucks I cant believe people are defending this at all, its pure misandry, if the roles were reversed and a man was letting secrets slip and talking ill of his wife then torches would be coming out, but thats just how women are when theyre with the girls, no secrets! Fuck all that haha, that is so disrespectful. As for your wifes friends, if they feel that strongly about your sexual preferences, then fuck em too! I was pooping and you helped me push from laughing so hard. As for your wife - I think her feelings are understandable even if her actions were insensitive. MILF Teacher seduce to Fuck Anal by Young Boy 12:11. I was going to say something identical. One of the things they dont tell you about relationships is that you gotta be able to stand up for your SO when the time comesso even if OPs wife doesnt actually believe all that and bent to peer pressure, that really sucks and Im sorry she feels that way with her friends, but she shouldnt be surprised if she loses her husband. But I also feel like it's a betrayal you can come back from. She more than likely enjoys your sex life and marriage, but is ashamed at how her friends make her feel, and used you as an outlet. Therefore I would talk to her about her views on it and, if necessary, go to couples therapy on this. Whats the point in being in relationship, in a marriage if you can't have ALL of trust, loyalty, and respect. And sometimes we have to forgive stupid people because we love them anyway. Neither is divorce. He said his wife told him what happened and he wanted to let me know he doesnt give a shit about me being bi and thinks the while situation is fucked. She destroyed your trust, and trust takes a long time to repair. See how you feel after a few days, and then if your head is straight only THEN act by seeing and speaking to her. I knew I wasnt in a good state and ignored all of them. She's probably embarrassed by that, and won't admit it to her friends fearing judgement. I have no advice but as a fellow bi, my condolences. If it was an accident, she should have come clean when it happened. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. She told them deeply personal stuff about your sex life. I have no idea how you will be able to have sex with her. Not one woman was shocked or uncomfortable, just derogatory. 2. And regarding the "I let it slip while drunk" part, she's still responsible for her acts while drunk, and if she isn't she shouldn't be drinking. But try couples counseling and go from there. Bisexuality is valid. She said she thought about him and thinks they were young and made stupid mistakes. These ones sound terrible. She continued to ignore my boundary. Good luck bro! I have also been outed in a similar way. The third, least savoury issue: She may still have hidden feelings for Tom. I will admit i dont tell my friends everything either, but if it comes up i wont join in and make fun of people who get made fun of for doing what i am into. Only point I wanted to make: it doesnt have to be one or the other. If you want to save your marriage and restore trust some sort of therapy is probably necessary. Is she going to put them as well and claim she didnt mean it and that she was just drunk or gossiping? As for the rest of it, definitely couples counseling. This has big sad middle America vibes or something. Nowadays? Be happy anyway. 1.) One of my wifes friends was fairly insistent about her divorcing me but honestly it came from a genuine place, its a weird situation and if you cant see how happy we are, I cant blame you for not getting it. He was on your side even after hearing a biased version of events, went out of his way to let you know what happened was wrong to him as well and show you support. If you can't own up to what you're doing in the bedroom, you aren't mature enough to be doing it. Couples therapy is a must, but it is on your wife to earn your trust back. She hurt you fucking badly. Then she said he has a really cute small dick, but tries to please. she outed you, made cruel jokes about your guys sex life, and didnt shut down her friends for being homophobic/biphobic. For the record, any intelligent person knows that there is no straight/gay/bi sex acts. Fuck her if she cannot be your confidant she's worthless, tell her to get rid of her hateful friends. Seriously I have a whole lot of respect for you for how you reacted. You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. Not the rest of the world with their petty judgements. I dont get down with revenge fucks, but if I thought she was super malicious Id be behind that comment. Emasculated. Taking a sensitive topic like sexuality and using yours in a way to demean you just so she can get a chuckle from her friends is unacceptable. I also really dont like how shes the one who initiates/etc yet was making fun of it?? Fuck her. I can also understand how this could be a blow to your confidence. Id say therapy but honestly no, she knows she fucked up and instead of standing up for you, let it happen. Especially when there is alcohol involved. Thank you. How would she feel, how would she react, etc. Saying stupid stuff about your sex life aside, why are you talking about your sex life with your friends at all? i think you do need to consider the idea that it probably was indeed just girl talk, same as when guys just chat shit together. Just shows she has no loyalty. Its fucked up to add that to a conversation just to pile on and humiliate her own husband. 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i overheard my wife talking about me